strikingly

beautiful

so apparently i'm not the only one with weird cnn.com induced problems

sometime either yesterday or the day before i deleted my cnn.com bookmark and replaced it with msnbc. i had to quit cnn. it was tough, but it was really getting out of hand. every once and a while, actual news would reach me via cnn.com's home page, but i usually just checked it to see what shenanigans were being listed as the 10 most important headlines. rampant sensationalism about the most ridiculous non-stories. (as it turns out, msnbc is hardly an upgrade, i just really needed some form of change)

in addition to the "cnn.com = nonsense" shoutout in the new york magazine Approval Matrix a week or two ago, i stumbled upon this blog that does a pretty good job at expressing the madness: http://cnnistheworstever.blogspot.com/

i use my time for good things.

this kind of negates what i said yesterday...

...in that Velazquez painted this when he was my age. of course, it's not his BEST work...but it's better than ANYTHING of mine. obviously.

i mean, i can't help but compare myself. i'm only human. and i love Velazquez. he seems like such a badass to me. i just get this feeling from the way that he paints that he had definite opinions - and that those opinions probably align with mine. for instance, the care, respect and dignity that he bestows upon a portrait of a dwarf are almost completely absent in those of his royal sitters. i mean, he does what he needs to do to keep his job and make everybody look wealthy and whatnot, but he clearly doesn't LOVE doing that type of stuff. it's his day job. and i totally respect him for making that distinction - let alone for his obvious skills. what a guy.

look who's close minded now, bitch...

i came to the realization the other day that i have at least 15 to 20 more years before i can legitimately worry when i evaluate my contributions to the world. right now, i shouldn't be wasting my time comparing my accomplishments (or lack thereof) against those of much older people from generations past. really, i'm doing pretty well, making respectable products, and saying worthwhile things from time to time. what more can i ask of myself? nothing.

excitingly, as of this weekend, i have an even less solid plan for my life after graduating college than i have had in a while. i'm very pleased to have potential options - i was scared that i had everything far too scheduled-out. planning out 5 years ahead of time - and having it ALL include school - is terrifying; keeping things flexible is much better. maybe i Will go to the New York Academy, maybe i'll move to San Francisco to train for a little bit, maybe i'll start doing production art for movies, maybe i'll never do any illustration work at all and just jump into galleries and portraits. who knows?

AND my weekends have been awesome lately. i'm a changed girl.