Saturday, January 19, 2008

i'm not the only one who needs to cool it...

...my drawings, too, need to relax in a big way. good god. a flip through my sketchbooks can be pretty stressful experience - everybody in there is tense, muscular, splayed-out, contorted, tumbling around, or at least in a general state of dysphoria. it's insane.

almost everything in my sketchbooks comes from my imagination - thus, the vast majority of these are the stressed-out people mentioned above. the ones drawn from life are fine; totally calm, collected, a little bit bored - kind of like the models that sit for my classes (this is not a complaint - just a casual observation). so, basically, i can record what i see in an aesthetically-pleasing way most of the time, but left to my own devices things get pretty agitated pretty quickly. awesome. also, i have a really hard time inventing fat people. love drawing them from life, but no dice on my own - i guess a lifetime of utterly refusing to look closely at the obese could be to blame.

my sister tells me that if i ever get into one of these moods where i start thinking shit like "i'm not a REAL artist," etc. i should read Twyla Tharp's book - i don't even know what the title is. apparently she (the modern dance choreographer responsible for those hp ads with famous people's hands - she taught them all how to relax their fingers because they were concentrating too much and their fingers were panicking) explains to the reader that such doubts about artistic worth are ridiculous; basically, just accept that since at this point in time nearly everything has already been said or done, even if you end up only introducing innovation in the form of nuance (instead of revolution) you have done something worthy. or something along those lines. see, i don't even need to read the book.

fuck, i hate that i can't invent complexity. at this point in my game, the best i can do is copy what i can see around me, or hope that i can remember an image well enough to reproduce it later.

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